it's Burning inside me like hot wax.  can't tell when it will blister unless you touch it. Continuously expanding like 100 year old sourdough but with nowhere to go except a wrenched gallon ziplock. how could i have let it breathe?  i guess more first kisses could've released the pressure, that's a zinger. but does dissipation help at all? Maybe my daughter will let it Spill Over and free the insides but who knows?  who Knows how? it's stuck but could be so big--filling the universe and boiling into something incredible and amazing. maybe my daughter is the outlet, but what Happens to Me? wandering around my tiny apartment in a daze--It's 3 in the Afternoon and all I can think is I wish it was 2 in the morning because midnight travails are much more Romantic and maybe that would siphon off some of the pressure.  But 2 am is too early to begin anything and too late to gallivant -plus it's cold outside and i have no car to escape the miles and miles of suburbs and Known territory. I'm the bike in the garage that could roam mountains and traverse Tuscany and find a lone bamboo forest or at least please Heaven rust at the bottom of the ocean. instead I age on the rack in the little garage watching cars pull in and pull out.

What is it? I was Hoping you could Tell me or just Take it away.

 so i can revel in a normal life and sticker stars

a full life

I haven't blogged in a long while--not since I began graduate school, which has taken up all of my time that is not dedicated to Rosie.  In one of my rhetoric classes we are discussing blogs and why people blog and what blogs should be about and how often bloggers post, etc. etc. etc. Lots to discuss.  Lots to discuss about the growing role of technology in general, in our lives, in our school, in our minds.  An article I read talks about how to begin a blog and especially what you need to begin one (an urgency for your subject matter, an important/reasonable purpose, a sense of authority/qualification, strong personal interest, and an audience to supply positive feedback).  I think that's asking a lot, especially because my reasons for blogging are much more laid-back. Academic discussions are interesting, but usually I walk away musing about the purpose of life and why I do what I do--questions rather than answers.

But the reason I (we, thank-you for your occasional post, Dustin) started this blog was #1 to keep a record of the fun places we visit (not quite as exotic as of late, seeing as most of our time goes towards work and most of our money goes towards school) and #2 to remind myself and others of the quirks, joys, happenings, and consequences life brings.  Today I wanted to share a few things that makes my life fuller:

First, there are machines that run through our neighborhood eating leaves.  Yesterday there was a lengthy gusting of wind which caused most of our burgundy and gold leaves to take a tumble to earth.  Today most of them have disappeared into the belly of the whirring beasts that roll through the gutters and drive-ways of our suburb.  However, for some reason yesterday Rosie and I decided to take a break from life and homework and go out stomping int he leaves.  Rosie is learning to sit up, so she sat in the leaves smashing, throwing, and biting them.  She giggled as I swung her through the swirling colored leaves and I had a moment to take a breath and look at my mountains and realize once again how beautiful my favorite season is, even in its later throws of transformation.  Today the leaves are gone, but yesterday gave us enough time to make a memory with them.

Second, the joy of food.  Dustin and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary on Monday by going to a fancy restaurant and ordering a platter of lobster tail, king crab, salmon, and a few different varieties of shrimp.  It was my first time eating lobster and MAN it was delicious.  It was fun using the nut-cracker device and dipping steaming meats in butter and doing it all with the person I love more than anyone else in the world.  Even better than all of that, when we showed up to the restaurant there was a 40 minute wait, so we put our name on the waiting list and went out for a dessert-before-dinner run.  Ice cream is the food of the gods, and it makes waiting infinitely more enjoyable.

Well, my list of a few things has been shortened to a mention of two--Rosie is waking up and I still have 3 articles to read before beginning a paper that is due tomorrow...then I have to start my homework for the next class :)  I sure have enjoyed this year of blogging, and I still look forward to the comments I get from old friends and new followers.  Thanks to all of you out there that make my life means something, who give me vibrant personalities to anchor my own to against the blusterings of life that would obliviate the fullness of life except for the strength of people like you.

Colorado Adventures

We sure had a great summer--I'm kinda reluctant to see it end.  Rosie and I have had so much fun playing together, especially when Daddy comes home and we can all spend time as a family.  This was one of our summer highlights, and Rosie's longest trip to date: our Fuller family reunion in Colorado.

Rosie was an angel in the car--crying for less than an hour of the fifteen+ hours we spent driving.

We took a quick break at the Monticello Temple in Utah (I'd never seen it) and then continued on the Mesa Verde National Park.  Awesome structures! And Rosie liked the little hike we took.

We rode the Silverton train up from Durango and Rosie loved being with all of her cousins for the first time, not to mention sleeping on the bumpy train.  We loved the view--such a fun experience!

We rested in Silverton before taking the long bus ride back--we were all pretty tired by that point!

The next day we stopped by a larger family reunion (Dustin's mother's side) and got to ride horses!!!  I hadn't been able to ride in ages, and I loved it!  Dustin didn't do so shabby either :)

The best part of summer is getting to spend time with the people you love.

Who woulda Thunk...?

   I indulged and read all 7 Harry Potters over the summer during Rosie's nap-time when I was supposed to be doing laundry and grad school prep instead :)  SO AMAZING.  Really, Rowling has created something to be proud of.  I found myself tearing up near the close of the 7th--she did great, and the movies don't do it justice at all.  Even though the are only YA fiction, they've had an influence on my life, and I will always love them.

 AND...I guess subconsciously they've had a bigger impact than I suspected.  As I was reading through the very end (I haven't read the 7th book since it came out--and that was in less than 24 hours--and it was like reading a whole new book; I'd forgotten so much!) I couldn't believe my eyes!  Ron and Hermione's first child is a girl...and they name her Rosie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To be perfectly correct, they name her Rose (just like if I was perfectly correct, we named our daughter Rosalee) but we both all our daughters ROSIE!  Laugh if you must, but I was delighted and promptly told everyone I met that wee that my daughter was named after Harry Potter--who knew, huh?!?!?!

  So yes, Rowling, you've changed my life :)  Gotta love it.

Cinderella wants a nap

Sleeping Beauty probably would have loved to spend hours and hours in a castle with her prince, and Belle couldn't stand it.
   But Sleeping Beauty is probably illiterate.

Rapunzel up in her tower would have thought seven dwarfs to keep her company an awesome boon.

A glass slipper (or shoes of any kind) would have cramped Pocahontas' style.

Jasmine found her prince by leaving a palace; Ariel found hers by arriving at one.

Mulan wanted out of her fine silks, yet Cinderella dreamed of being dressed like a princess.

Tell me Cinderella wouldn't love to switch Aurora for some beauty sleep.


These are rather silly examples, but it makes one think.

Because we always want what we don't have.

  Be happy with your fairy tale, and make your dreams reality!

Gazing at the Sky (4th of July)

  We began and ended our Independence Day celebration by looking into the sky - one riddled with morning sunbeams, the other a spread of darkness and stars.  There is so much to think about on the 4th of July, both good and bad, that often I just find myself acknowledging an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for past and present heroes, observance of where we are now and what America means to me and others, and fearful anticipation of what the future could hold if we do not hold our standards dear.  

  But I always escape my thoughts just long enough to enjoy the holiday activities.

  The festivities opened at the unholy hour of 6:00 am July 3rd, where Dustin and I laid in bed until we were running late (it was just too early to actually say farewell to my soft, soft pillow).  Rosie couldn't manage to wake up (since she still likes to get up in the middle of the night for an hour or so), but we took her along for her first Independence Day celebration.

 She slept through the whole thing.  

 The whole point of getting up so darn early was to see the flood of hot air balloons which open the Freedom Festival in Provo, Utah every year.  We met a few friends from Church, laid out our blanket, and watched more than 2 dozen balloons lay out, fill up, and take off.  It's pretty amazing, and I think it will become a yearly tradition for our family.

 

 

 

Rosie slept through the whole thing!  I guess that's better than crying through it, huh?

We look pretty tired, too.

And Rosie met her first mascot - the pink frisbee was a gift from Smokey the Bear!

Our adventure continued that evening with a quick trip up to Rupert, Idaho.  My mom's family is from there, and the 4th of July is what Rupert does best.  Some enthusiastic early-birds began the day with a 10k race, then we all headed to the Church for an Independence Day devotional, complete with donuts and juice (the program is much shorter now--as a child it was really hard to sit through an hour+ long lecture on how great America is, but now it is short and sweet--we get to hear from what few WWII veterans are left to carry on their legacy).

 Next was the Rupert 4th of July parade.  Most of the extended family meets up at the parade, and it is the highlight of the holiday.  This year we added in a little game of "phase 10" which made it extra enjoyable--but we made sure we stopped to watch the horses pass by (my favorite part).

 

 
 Again, Rosie slept through the whole thing :)

 

 This year was also memorable because not only did they throw popsicles, but we were given ICE CREAM as well, to keep cool - best parade ever!

 

  We stuffed ourselves at the traditional BBQ following the parade and visited for hours...then it was time to race back down to Utah.  Dustin, Rosie, and I made it to Provo just in time to meet up with Dustin's brother and head out to find a spot worthy of being our seat for Stadium of Fire fireworks.  I was a little worried about Rosie and the loud noises--but Daddy Dustin had ear protection all ready for her:

 Turns out, we didn't need it.  She LOVED them!  As soon as they started she quit crying and stared up at them exploding in the sky.  She watched for about 3 minutes and then SLEPT through the rest of the show.  What a trooper!!!

 

   I sure love this country and its heritage, full of human victory, mistakes, and endurance.  I hope we can keep her nobleness and her goodness with us for many years more.

Baby Rosie in Vogue

Our baby girl is 2 months now and growing like crazy.  My awesome friend Rachel Morgan has been doing photos for friends and businesses for years, so when she came to visit a few weeks ago she offered to snap a few of Rosie.

It wasn't the most pleasant experience for Rosie.  Sweet Rosalee has a spidey-sense that warns her when a camera is pointed at her and it makes her face screw up in unhappy expressions.  She was NOT a fan of being positioned, especially on her tummy.  I didn't have a Boppy or anything really to make the process easier (sorry Rachel) so our amazing photographer did what she could.  I was surprised how many of them actually turned out cute (even through the tears):

Then she started doing this weird cross-eyed thing - for the next three days Rosie kept looking at things cross-eyed.  Hasn't really happened before or since (yes, you may laugh at my child if you so desire).

And then she started getting a little grumpy.

and a little grumpier.

and then REALLY grumpy.

But we still grabbed a few where her adorable personality shone through.  

 

Thanks Rachel, and we love you, Rosalee!!